


yakko's hot (male) date

by jimhawkins



Category: Animaniacs
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Comedy, Ficlet, Humor, M/M, One Shot, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:42:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28104912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jimhawkins/pseuds/jimhawkins
Summary: Yakko tried not to let Wakko or Dot interfere with his romantic life, but it was hard to keep his siblings at arms length when they clung to him like a dying studio clung to the promise of revenue from the reboot of a beloved IP.Still. Not a single one of the Warners could have guessed exactly who would actually show up to sweep Yakko off his feet that night. Like, literally none of them saw this coming.
Relationships: Dot Warner & Wakko Warner & Yakko Warner
Comments: 9
Kudos: 59





	yakko's hot (male) date

“Was Yakko actually serious about having a date tonight?” Dot asked skeptically.

It was another evening at the water tower. Yakko had dragged his brother and sister home from their daily shenanigans earlier than usual and Dot was upset about it. By now they would be torturing Dr. Scratchansniff, or giving Ralph his daily workout by running around the movie lot, or ruining one of their castmate’s filming sessions with an impromptu cameo. Instead they were home with the windows drawn.

Wakko shrugged. “Who, Yakko? No way! He’s just pulling our leg. Must be a new gag he’s trying out.” Wakko’s tongue flapped lazily from his mouth as he and his sister turned in unison towards their older brother. Yakko was always surprising them with new tricks and they were glad to play along. Everything they knew about being zany the kids had learned from their big brother.

At the moment Yakko was standing in front of the mirror. The youngest Warner siblings stared up at him with clenched fists, gazes expectant. Whatever it was, tonight’s trick must be good. He was going all out for this one.

Yakko didn’t notice the intense stares. He was busy whirling around, switching between a barrage of outfits with cartoonish speed. “No, no, no, no,” the eldest mumbled. The carousel of clothing continued. None of his outfits quite seemed to hit the right notes for… whatever kind of look he was going for. “None of these compliment my figure!”

“Well I think that purple pantsuit you wore three wardrobe changes ago was very fitting,” Dot supplied, wondering what the punchline to all of this lead-up could possibly be.

Yakko let out an uncharacteristically frustrated scream. The longer Wakko and Dot watched him, the less Yakko Warner seemed to be in a trickster mood.

Did that mean…?

Wakko and Dot glanced at one another and then at their brother.

“It wasn’t an excuse. He _was_ serious about having a date tonight,“ Wakko realized aloud. “And he’s nervous!” He burst into laughter, pointing at his older brother and bouncing around the room as Yakko’s face went red. Smooth-talking and witty Yakko was almost never nervous before dates. Whoever it was must have been a real hottie to get him this self-conscious.

“So who is she?” Dot teased. “Do we know her?”

“I bet it’s Lola Bunny,” said Wakko, still bouncing from floor to ceiling with his tail.

“Nuh uh. She and Minerva Mink are going steady right now.”

“Will you two stop speculating aloud as if you haven’t read the script already? Sheesh. And I thought I was the one who yaks around here!”

Truthfully, the youngest Warner siblings hadn’t bothered reading more than the first few lines of tonight’s script. They just assumed it would be ignored like usual. Wakko ate his, and Dot had used hers for spitballs.

Yakko had stopped changing now and appeared to have settled on a simple but flattering navy blue tux. He was adjusting his tie when the doorbell (which in accordance with cartoon logic only appeared when the Warners needed it) rang.

Yakko froze. “Oh god. He’s here.”

Dot and Wakko’s eyes went wide. _He?_ they both mouthed at one another. After the world’s most dramatic pause, Wakko and Dot’s eyes filled with sparkles and stars.

Yakko said _he!_

The oldest Warner sibling held up a finger in warning. “Don’t ruin this for me. It’s my first blind date and I wanna make a good impression.” The doorbell rang again.

“But Yakko,” said Wakko, “your impressions are always fine! There’s nothing to worry about. Besides, you do a really good Rob Paulsen.”

Dot shushed Wakko and took him by the hands. She was bouncing on the balls of her feet. “Don’t you get it, Wakko? We have to be quiet! Oh, I can’t wait to see what he looks like. I bet he’s dreamy. It’s Yakko’s first ever real date with a—“

There was a knock. The entrance to the water tower began to swing open. Someone had forgotten to lock the water tower on their way in. All three Warners lined up in a neat row right behind the door frame, posing as if they had been waiting there patiently the entire time. Wakko shoved his tongue back into his mouth to look proper just moments before the stranger stepped out of shadow and into the light of the Warners' home.

All three of their jaws literally hit the floor.

Yakko’s blind date was a guy alright. In fact, this guy looked like an almost exact carbon copy of Yakko Warner himself. That is, if the real Yakko had shaggier hair, a slightly more reserved but devilish aura, and looked slicker in a loose-fitting black suit than Yakko Warner ever could. Other Yakko (whatever his name was) cleared his throat.

He looked between Yakko, Wakko, and Dot. “Which one if you is Yakko Warner?”

“That would be me!” Yakko said eagerly. He shoved his younger siblings out of the way. He didn’t seem to notice that he had just catapulted them into the wall with a loud thwack. They were fine but Yakko wasn’t. He was acting weird. In fact, Yakko seemed to be completely smitten already. If he were any more enamored by the mirror image of himself the animators of this segment would have had to draw actual heart eyes in the place of Yakko’s real ones.

Other Yakko smiled. “Cool. I’m Zakko. But you already knew that. You look nice.” His voice was smooth and deep. Total contrast with Yakko’s squeaky and sarcastic one.

Yakko sidled up next to his date with a flirtatious look in his eyes. “Could you say that last part again? One more time, real slow.”

“Hey!” Dot exclaimed as she popped out the pile of wall rubble. “What is the meaning of this? Selfcest wasn’t in the fic tags!”

Wakko shook his head and brushed the rubble from his shirt. “What kind of name is Zakko anyway? It’s like Yakko but only one letter is different!” Wakko pouted. “At least _mine_ makes sense and thematically aligns with my character,” he muttered.

Yakko chuckled. He waved a gloved hand dismissively. “Excuse my brother and sister. They’re just grumpy because it’s past their bedtime. Come along siblings, time for bed!” Yakko was pushing them out of the room, his eyes fixed behind him on this new Zakko guy the entire time. Yakko’s eyes were still on “Zakko” when Yakko produced a bed from thin air, tucked Wakko and Dot in, and chained them to the mattress with an oversized lock for good measure.

“Seeya sibs! We’ll be back later tonight. Or tomorrow night. I’ll call. Food is under the pillows if you get hungry. Gnaw on those chains a little if your hands can’t reach. If there’s an emergency just ring up Scratchy. Okay, I love you, bye-bye!”

The water tower door slammed behind him. Wakko and Dot heard the click of the lock and he was gone.

Yakko had left them.

“Enjoy your date, Narcissus!” Dot yelled after him bitterly. “And that last bit isn’t even your catchphrase!”

Yakko and Zakko didn’t seem to hear her. Their conversation and laughs faded until neither of the young Warners could hear them anymore. Wakko was silent beside Dot.

“Wakko?” Dot asked in concern. “You okay?”

“Yeah… I was just wondering if this fic might end in a cute date for me too, but I used the last few pages of today’s script as a napkin.”

Dot rolled her eyes. She looked directly into the camera in annoyance. “Boys. Go fig.”

**Author's Note:**

> i'm (not) sorry but i couldn't resist. this concept came to me in the middle of the night and i had to write it down. i have an idea for a second chapter but i'm not sure how many people would even want to read that lol.
> 
> thanks to all the kind folks who left kudos and comments on my last animaniacs fic! you're so nice!


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